The Fifth Platoon

Took first PT test in FTC. Again, no sit-ups. Ran alongside Pulver at a much easier pace than I had taken in my first run. Again, did not walk. Did not pass either, hehe. 10:40. Pulver is... I think either 54B or 95B... MOS is military police. If she didn't pass the PT test, she would miss the last shipoff date (one-shot training) and would have to wait three months for next opportunity. Her last run was somewhere above 12 minutes. I ran along with her and encouraged her, and she came in at 10:35... technically, did not pass, but because she improved so much over last time, and only missed it by so little, and has a really gracious sergeant, she's going off to basic tomorrow. I don't feel bad at all for taking a slower time on my run... she said herself that if she hadn't had me and another private helping her, she probably wouldn't have improved her time so much. If drill sergeants ask why my last run was so crappy, I will gladly tell them that I used it to help Pulver.

The exercises here are ass-kicking and glorious. It hurts like all fuck while you're doing them, but afterwards it feels so good. Did about 40 assisted sit-ups, a bazillion different crunches, 19 pushups (oooh those were hard), used an elliptical for maybe ten minutes... that's not to say I already ran a god damn mile this morning, and I hear I'll have a shot at two on Saturday. I feel good. Too bad I wasn't doing this shit a month ago. Too bad the drill sergeants in basic won't be this helpful.

Wrote Ben his letter. Agh. I'm a horny bastard. I hope Lolita makes good on her word and gets me some pictures of him. I love a good mop of curly hair, hehe.

Tired. Tomorrow some new FTC's should be coming in. Taught a few girls how to polish boots... much love to Hernandez. Pulver is told to say hi to the girls for me. God, I love this camaraderie with people I met only a week ago.

I'm pretty sure I only missed one day. Maybe my dates are off. Oh well, anyway. Yesterday... packing. We packed. Today, everyone shipped. Hernandez, dirty Pepsi, Jaime, Juanita, Monique, et al., went to their respective companies for basic. A few girls, myself included, were moved over one building to the FTC 43rd AG Battalion. Welcome to what the drill sergeants affectionately term "fatty camp." Not all the girls in this bay are here just because they didn't pass their PT test. One girl has been shitting around a while, hoping to go home, and another hurt herself before going to basic and is still recuperating. They're both been here about nine weeks. Because there are only 44 girls here, and some of them have been here two months, there is MUCH more respect and organization here. They are all actually quite friendly with their drill sergeant. Who's actually a pretty cool guy. I've noticed that already about drill sergeants. If you do what you're told and give them the respect they demand, they're very cool. This isn't possible in the first three weeks of basic.

I hope Juanita and Monique and Hernandez and all of them did alright today. They're on Day Zero until Friday. If I pass the second PT test tomorrow, I can join their class in time for having only one Day Zero. I already miss them.

Got my BCGs [edit: Birth Control Glasses]... they really are quite ugly. I intend to use them as little as possible.

Got phone calls again today. Mom was upset that she missed my call on Sunday. I thought she would be, hehe. Might get to call again on Friday if I don't pass PT test tomorrow.

I really hate that mile run. I know it won't be the last one I do. I know I can pass it again, and that I should do my best at it, but I haven't done any actual training yet here at the fitness training company. I don't think I could beat sit-ups tomorrow, at least. I can definitely do more than 0, though. Har.

Got baby smoked today. Didn't catch one of the sergeant's orders and had to push. I think I did 13 or 14 push-ups before he said "You're pathetic, get out of my sight." Didn't know I could do that many. 4 more and I could pass the women's push-ups for the final PT test in basic. Sweet! Just gotta be able to run and sit-up after that.

Fireguard from 1 to 2 am. I hate doing it in the middle hours. At least the girls here don't fuck up and get us to six girls a shift.

Think I'ma write Ben a letter tomorrow. Keep dreaming about him now. That always surprises him.

A real piss-around day. More church services. Wish I were five years younger... because I can't for the life of me buy into the Christian mythos. It's damn fascinating but only as reading material.

Got phone calls today. Almost didn't, because of these stupid girls. For what good it did me. Neither my family nor Alice were home. That's a damn shame. I hope they're not too upset that they missed me.

...What the hell is the matter with these girls? There are fifty-four fucking people who have to pull fire guard tonight, all of us are trying desperately to sleep in an over-heated room, and the same goddamn group of girls are talking like it's a fucking party. I'm really gonna miss some of these chicks when they leave for BCT and I go to FTC, but I don't envy them having to train with these royal pains in the asses. I have fireguard, with five other girls at 3 fucking o'clock, AND we have to do a headcount.

Gonna sleep with my canteen.

Sit-ups were a complete no-go. Utter failure. I couldn't do one. Exhausted my abdomen the night before. Ugghhh. Hearing different stories on what my options are now. Asked our platoon's specialist to check with one of the sergeants on what I can do now. I'm a fuckin holdover?

Passed push-ups easily. Running that mile kicked my ass. But I didn't walk a single time. Pride over that conflicts with the depression over sit-ups. Strange church service today. Moving youth group musical theater thing, then went to Catholic services. Catholicism ain't for me. Too uh... guilty.

Ah... don't know what to write home about if I don't get into basic. I can't believe how poorly I did on sit-ups... completely tarnishes the victories in running and push-ups.

Drill sergeants gettin nastier. People gettin smoked and chewed out. Not me (yet). If only I could do as many sit-ups as some of these crackwhores... I'd got no FTC to worry about.

Seem to have developed a southern accent.

Continued-- more rumors about FTC. It might not take me months. I could pass in the first week and leave with the next class for BCT. I might have to go home for Christmas in the middle, but it's so much better than waiting for my next AIT opening.

Girl across "hallway" filing chapter 11... failure to adapt to a new environment. She backs out of contract with NO penalties (so she says). She already decided to do that on her second day. Part of me feels sad for her and the rest of me is relieved that the big quitter gave up before it counted. They shouldn't make it that easy.

I am not from Texas! I'm y'allin all over the place... and then people ask where I'm from... the North, hooah!

PT test in the morning. If I fail run I may be able to take it again. No fireguard for me tonight, though.

Got shots today. Ass shot still hurts. Some girls here not takin shit seriously. Me = pissed. Drill sergeants will kill us. Thank god the worst is the first.

Girls testin their sit-ups. Maybe should do that before lights-out. And pushups. Yeah.

Cont.- Sit-ups a no-go tonight. 13 done... 4 out. Hernandez advised. If I can't pull 4 more out tomorrow morning, MIGHT get another chance before I'm pulled out of Tuesday's basic. Oh lord... I'm not a religious girl, but I think I might become one. I do not want out of AIT or to be stuck in reception.

Fireguard. Damn. Only my second night. Sergeant = pissed already. No doubt we'll fuck up.

Went to PLX... acted all hi-speed at pseudo-shakedown. Go me.

Drill sergeants have all been female and cranky. Que interesante. PT test Saturday... If I don't make it I have to wait for the next AIT cycle. Damn it. No pressure.

...Even better, fireguard from 1200 to 100... right in the middle. Dammit! Pictures and immunizations tomorrow. And they let us get in here early, too... damn.

So... second day. The other people are really bothering me. They walk in parade rest and they don't address the higher-ups properly. Drill sergeants will smoke my ass. At least I don't talk in chow.

We go to basic on Tuesday, those of us who pass the PT test. Oh lord, I had better pass that thing. It's all I really fear at this point.

Can't wait til I can start getting letters. And I can't wait until I'm all buff and shit. Make me push, drill sergeant!

Ugh... 3rd time I've been woken up in an hour. I will never sleep again.

Oy. 3-4 hours of sleep. Up at four. Flight at seven. Three hours later... Chicago O'Hare Ntnl Airport. I didn't think my hometown was that small until I saw Chicago. Holy fuck. There's Chicago! ... There's more Chicago! ... There's more! ... Still more! ... Pizza = good here. Airport = huge. Still nervous... fluctuating. Juanita + Monique can't believe I'm that scared, hiding it well. Drill sergeants better not read this at shakedown.

Continued- Interesting. First drill sergeant met = female, cranky. Few other girls in last leg of reception, going to basic tomorrow. Scaaary.

Tired. Up at 5. Better than this morning. More cranky drill sergeants. Doin what I'm told, not getting yelled at yet. Yay.

PASSED WEIGHT! YAY!

Shipping out tomorrow. PT test in 3 days. Pushups = yes, sit-ups = okay, running = ... maybe.

Made a few friends. 1st roomie Juanita, nonroomie Monique, 2nd roomie... haven't gotten her name yet. Juanita and Monique both going to Leonard Wood, but in National Guard... won't be in same company. Ah well, we go home for Christmas, might hook up then.

Feeling much more at ease than yesterday. Save for stupid ass running... if I pass everything but run in at 10:40... PISSED. Another week in boot camp cause can't fuckin run.

Got Godiva chocolate today... cranberry truffle = excellent. Will haunt my dreams. Went around downtown, visit Carls Jr (had a salad w/trimmings... retaining tolerance for veggies), going to see a movie later tonight with everyone who ships tomorrow. Four to Leonard Wood, two to Knox, one to Jackson. Three girls, me included.

Took pics of roomies and nonroomies... they cool. Feeling different... more independent. Confident. Interesting. Dad coming to pick up packet... will probably bawl like littal girl.

Only thing that frightens me is stupid PT test. Everything else... if they tell me to do it, I do it.

Two months will go by quickly.

Flight leaves at 7:10 am. Should go to bed at nine, but movies start then. Tee and hee. Wish I had loving man-support here. Just a non-innocent hug would be nice. Not a skank though. Darn, wish I were a skank.

I will be fine, though. Whatever they throw at me, I can handle. I'm the toughest chick my friends now.

OMG... looking forward to AIT so much! Everytime I feel that know in my stomach I think of where I'm going next, the family that's proud of me, the friends I'll be telling stories to, and... well, Ben. Poor bastard. Don't think he knows what I've got in store for him. Horny like the wolf.

Update- 20-30 minutes kicked my ass. "Swimfan" has a horrible ending.

I am very, very frightened. All of my old worries are resurfacing again. Ran on the hotel treadmill for 20 minutes... that's not enough. I've made all the other requirements, but the physical ones worry me the most.

I should have taken numbers from my friends. I talked with my family but didn't tell them what was -really- worrying me, and now I feel awfully alone. That's how it's going to be for several weeks and it MUST NOT STOP ME. This is all that stands between me and an amazing experience, and an incredible life, and fuck COLLEGE. When I come back I will have stories and pictures and I can go see Ben and show him what else there is to do when no one's looking.

I wonder if I'll be able to write like this before I'm through. I think I should draw, but I have nothing to say.

I will come home in December... old, strong, lean, rich... go see five movies... visit Annie and Jane and run into Zak and be okay with it. Visit Lolita, and then Ben. I hope he doesn't mind too much that I'm using him as a ward against insanity. I must have something else to fixate on or I will not be okay.

I'll be completely alright in a week... this I know.